And The Penny and The Person Drops
by MustardForYourHotdog
Summary: Originally titled 'And the Penny/Person Drops' but this site doesn't like these '/' in titles. Silly fic that probably shouldn't be read. Rated T for some swearing. Zoe/nameless guy OC. I dunno, it might make you smile.


_A silly little future fic that is not at all meant to be taken seriously. Written mostly for the fun of it after the prompt, 'what if Zoe met a nice guy then he made her very angry?' was presented to me. Hotdog, this is all your fault...  
_

* * *

And The Penny/Person Drops

She smirks cruelly and that is the moment that he realises that he's screwed. He hangs by the one hand with her standing above him nonchalantly. He glances over his shoulder into the lake below before looking back up at her with a stern gaze.

"Zoe... Don't even think about it," He says knowingly. Her smirk doesn't falter. "No, seriously. I know I upset you but you also know that I'm a terrible swimmer and... yeah, I don't really want to go down there."

"You didn't upset me," The young woman says coolly.

"Then... why the fuck am I hanging here with a knackered shoulder and a sick feeling in my stomach that tells me this isn't going to end well?"

"Because though you didn't upset me... you have really pissed me off," Zoe replies and the man blows his bangs out his face. Yeah, this isn't going to end well.

"And that is very understandable. Nobody wants to have to go and rescue their drunk ass boyfriend in the middle of the night. Nobody. So I get it, really I do..." He returns and Zoe's eyes narrow. "But Zoe, if you step on my fingers and make me fall, we are going to have to... talk. We're going to have to have a long talk about why hurting me was a bad idea and how going to St Trinians is not a viable excuse for doing so." Zoe blinks at him then looks to his hand wrapped around the bar. "Zoe... Don't do it."

She grins wickedly.

"No... Don't you _dare_. If you step on my fingers, I swear to God, Zoe we are gonna have issues!"

She raises her foot slowly.

"No, no, no! Put that foot down! Damn it, Zoe don't you do it! Don't you do it! ZOE!"

She ignores him and a few moments later, he drops, cursing like a sailor. She listens to him hit the water and pauses for a moment before stepping up to the railing and peering over. He rises, coughing and spluttering.

"SHIT! Zoe, this is fucking freezing!" He shouts. She starts to walk off. "Zoe! Oh come on don't leave!" The young man yells in protest. Once again, she ignores him. "I fucking love you!"

She stops dead and stands unmoving for a long while before she turns back and she looks over. He's dragged himself onto the bank, sopping wet and shivering violently. She watches him for a while before she sighs.

"I know!" She calls and he lifts his head and though he trembles violently from the cold, he still smiles at her. She climbs down a nearby ladder and walks up to him before crouching down beside him. She puts her hand to his cheek. He's freezing. "Come on, idiot, let's go before you get sick," She prompts and he smiles again...

...

"And that kids is the moment I realised I loved your mother!" The man concludes. His son and daughter stare at him with matching looks of confusion.

"After she stamped on your fingers and nearly left you to freeze to death?"

"Exactly!" The man says casually and he ruffles his son's hair.

"Don't touch my hair, dad."

"Dad, don't you think that maybe deciding then was kind of weird?" The girl suggests and the man rubs his cheek as he thinks, the course stubble scratching then he chuckles.

"Maybe. But then, if I hadn't have decided then, I'd never have got the chance again, would I?" He reasons and his children share a look before they both burst into raucous laughter. "What?"

"Haha! Mum nearly killed you!" His daughter says through her laughter.

"That's so funny! I'm gonna tell all my mates at school!"

The man looks between his children with a frown then over to the smirking woman in the doorway as she folds her arms loosely. He points at her accusingly.

"You did this," He says and Zoe grins.

"I know and I've never been prouder," She replies.

"... I'm gonna make some coffee... with 90% alcohol..."

"Don't let Damien get his hands on it, you know what he's like."

"Yup. My son's a coffee demon. Gotcha."

He hears them all laughing at his expense and despite everything, he can't help but smile. Honestly, he wouldn't want it any other way. But, damn, that woman can't half be an evil witch when she wants to.

* * *

_Once again, it was wrote for the giggles. Try not to question it too much._


End file.
